Desire is a word that Christians tend to tiptoe around. Like a Caged Tiger. It’s nice to talk about at a safe distance, but open the doors to that cage…and God only knows what would happen next.
And yet…your Desires are the undeniable drivers of your life. We pursue what we perceive we want. We orient our life around it. We are not satisfied until we get it…and often times…we are still not satisfied even when we do. You can see why people tend to avoid the subject.
But at the crossroads of real life and real growth stands an old weathered sign with this question –
“What do you REALLY want?”
This is an honest question. It’s a spiritual question. It’s a question that leads to deeper places with God and yourself. It’s a question that Jesus asked in Mark 10:51.
In Mark 10, Jesus is at the height of His earthly ministry. Everyone wants something from Him. On His way out of Jericho, a blind man named Bartimaeus lying on the side of the road refuses to silence his Desire to see. He screams out to get Jesus attention. The text says that he was yelling so loud that the crowd around began to SHHHH him. Imagine being at an outdoor music festival and in the middle of the Spice Girls Reunion Set someone is singing SO LOUD and SO PASSIONATELY that the crowd around has to SHHH them…actually SHHH them! How loud and how bad would it have to be!?!
Undaunted by the Silencers of Desire, Bartimaeus only gets louder…and it works. His undignified desire got the attention of Jesus and Jesus called him over.
Jesus asks him the question that is at the heart of all true Desire – “What do you want me to do for you?”
In other words…”What do you REALLY want?”
Bartimaeus’ desire was simple – To See.
But what about YOU? How would you answer that question? What do you REALLY want? What do you Desire?
– A life of minimal Pain and Loss
– To be Married
– To be a Parent
– To have Perfect Kids
– To be Validated
– To be Famous
– To be Happy
One of my desires is Recognition. I desire to be known, respected, and well thought of by the people I know, respect, and think well of. If I’m honest, I want people to know who I am and think that what I’m doing is important.
None of these desires are inherently bad in and of themselves. They are where we start. The problem is that so often…they are where we get stuck. They become all that we see, until we, like Bartimaues, are blinded by them.
When I am able to be truly honest, what I WANT to want…is Jesus. Beneath all the top soil layers of Desire. Beneath the hard packed dirt of Desires. Somewhere down in the white hot core of my Soul…He is what I REALLY want. Above all else and beneath all my other desires, I want Jesus.
And so the work for me is to dig up and name the layers upon layers of desire that I have laid the foundations of my life on. To bring each and every desire to Jesus and ask Him to not only heal them, but to allow me to see Him. My job is to do what Psalm 37:4 says, to make Delighting in God my number one Desire…and trust Him to give me right desires…real desires that come from Him and ultimately…always…lead back to Him.
I may not be able to say that Jesus is ALL that I want in any given moment, but I can, in this moment, declare that I WANT to want Him. I desire for Him to be all that I desire. And that sounds like a good place to start.
Does that make sense? I wonder if you can relate. Do you, like me, have some diggin to do through your Desires?
If so, here’s a couple of honest questions…
– What do you REALLY want from Jesus? If you were to be really honest….what is it?
– What would it mean for you to loose your junk like Batimaeus and scream out for Jesus to give you that Desire?
– Who are “Crowds” (either literally or figuratively) that try to silence your desires?
– If it is difficult for you to honestly Desire God right now, would you be willing to pray this simple prayer – “I want to want you, Jesus”?
I’d love to hear where you land with all of this and where it lands with you.
You can leave comments, reflections, and confessions below.